I absolutely positively CAN NOT

TAKE ANY MORE TODAY!!!



I'M DONE, GAME OVER!!!!!!!!!

just think of your comfy bed at home....
Hang in there!! praying for you!

What is going on? Hang in there! Are you still crunching numbers?

I have more going on than just work and dr's. I am once again being told who I can befriend and who I can't. I have SPIES EVERYWHERE and I know it's just a matter of time before one of them calls Jeff again. I am SO SICK of people telling me who I can be friends with and who I can't. Just becuz you don't like some one doesn't mean the same for me. I hate having to sensor what I post and what I say. I hate the fact that no matter who I call or even email I have to either A. fight for the conversation since it never fails no matter who I am talking to on the phone, they ALWAYS have someone else carrying on a conversation with them or B. Have to explain why and who they are. Hell I'm even being accused of having people on my facebook and myspace I don't even know. The only Sissie I know is my sister, yet I am being accused of searching out all of Jeff's relatives to sabotage his parents. (Yes, I was actually told to delete anyone with the Jencks last name from my facebook account and to NEVER accept their friends requests)

I can't sleep, I'm up till 3-4 in the morning every night, and have to be to work by 830 so my nerves are a bit tired. I have been trying so hard to get ahead of things and stay on top of it and it never fails; I'm always made to feel like a failure in every aspect of my life.

I am sick and tired of hearing I want a baby every single day. Every time a new born is on tv I have to hear about having another baby. OVER IT!!!!!!

I hate the fact no matter what it is it never goes right for me. For instance, buy a new truck, less than a month later I have to have the windshield replaced. Have a bug screen put on the front, professionally, less than 2 weeks later it's come off and I have to take it back to be fixed. No big deal, but COME ON, at what point does something go right the first time around.

This is just a few things, I honestly feel like I have NO ONE to talk too. Even though I know I can call my Sissie and chat, it's not fair for me to call over things I know are just petty; my Mom allows me to have 2 sentences before she changes it to how horrible her job is, Jeff only allows conversation during commercials, Lexy is too young to understand, I have no friends, and seriously spend way to much time alone. I want a hobby besides couponing, even that has become an issue in my life.

Every one has an escape but me; Jeff is going fishing on Saturday, he gets 3 weeks night where he has 3 hours alone; Lexy goes away with Nanny and Poppy to have mini vacations. I just want to do something fun; and not feel so guilty about it. I work overtime in order to hopefully buy myself something special and in reality once the checkbook is balanced on payday there's barely enough for groceries left. I've need new shoes for MONTHS now and still wear the same ones I've had for the past 2 years. My digital camera broke, so I can't even take pictures and make greeting cards any more. I hate the fact that if I do go shopping I never buy for myself, I have a $15.00 credit at Macy's and a 10/30 coupon so basically I could get 30$ worth of stuff for $5 dollars, yet feel guilty for spending the $5.00 on my self, yet it's nothing to spend 100$ on something Jeff wants. If I hear one more time "What do you want for xmas" I may scream. How many times do you have to tell someone what you want before they realize you are serious. But in peoples minds they think a newspaper subscription that can't be what she wants. Well that's because so far the lists I've gotten is:
A gun
A grillguard
A 2,000.00 swingset
A new laptop
A baby boy (that is Leo's request) I'm giving him the # to the nearest adoption agency.
A weekend at Hard Rock with $$$ to spend
A vehicle for Rayanna
A family vacation to see snow.


Shall I continue or are you all done with my ranting now????????

I can truly understand most of it! Specially the no friends! I am there! And the "I WANT, I NEEDS" I to am over that! Keep your chin up I love you. ANd ps I like listening to your petty rants! call me n e time

I try but seriously Sissie, if Bobby or Jeff is around we can NOT have a conversation and that just pisses me off more so I'm better off not even bothering. I love you too. I need retail therapy just don't have the $$$$ to even work the deals.